When being a mom sucks the most

Well...being a mom to teenage girls is definitely a struggle to say the least. I am starting to come to terms with the fact that babies aren’t babies any more, but I refuse to believe that I am supposed to let go, I cant, I wont.

Being a single teenage mother, my girls and I kinda grew up together. I have learned to accept the past and move forward with my life. Sure I could sit there and have a pity party for everything that has happened in my life, poor me, poor me, but what does it solve and who does it help?

When my twins were born at 34 weeks, I went into labor at work, took the train to the hospital where I was informed that not only was I in labor, but that I was having twins. Here I am 17 years old, all by myself, with 2 babies to care for, and no ones help….what was I going to do, how would I do it? 72 hours later my beautiful baby girls entered the world. After three days of labor…I was so exhausted. The next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital room. I walked to the nurse’s station and asked where my babies were, she told me they were in NICU and that she would call someone to take me there and that she didn’t know how long it would be. So I borrowed another hospital gown…and snuck off when the nurse wasn’t looking. I walked three buildings away, soooo very tired, but the only thing on my mind was to see my girls. When I arrived at the NICU about 2 hours later, the nurse just about had a heart attack “what are you doing here, everyone is looking for you” and starts to yell for another nurse to get me a chair. I then asked her where my girls were, she pointed at two incubators side-by-side with two tiny babies in them, and I was instantly in love. I was able to carry Angelic first and then Leila….and was in total complete awe, I remember thinking to myself, unconditional love, I promise to for you for always.

Fast forward to now, at 15 ½ years old, I think that now to my twins, I am the equivalent of the anti-Christ. Can’t they see I only have their best interests in mind, don’t they see I only want the best for them? In comparison to most moms, I think I am pretty cool, can someone please tell me, when did I become the enemy? How to I get them to see where I am coming from? Granted, the little person on their left should happens to be my mother that has some demented vendetta against me…but that another story, for another day, until then I’ll just keep on keeping on…chin up Mrs. Every Woman